Chicken John is running for Mayor of San Francisco!
This was the official website for "Chicken" John Rinaldi's 2007 run for mayor of San Francisco. He garnered 8 percent of the city's vote. Just because a domain's registration expired, there is no reason why Chicken John's website should disappear from the web. So here you go... The content below is from the site's 2007 archived pages.
It was while recreating this site, as a homage to Chicken John's majorl run, that my dear pekingese, Muffles decided it was super-dog-fly-killer and leaped after a pesky house fly from the sofa onto my computer desk. In the mayhem that followed might goblet of red wine was knocked off the table landing with a sickening splash of wine all over a white carpet. It's moments like this when you think "why did I ever think a white rug was a great idea?" I mopped up as best I could and then did a google search for "reliable local carpet cleaning NYC" and found a company that does both wall to wall carpeting and area rugs. The have free pick up and delivery of area rugs that taken to a state-of-the-art facility for anyone living in Manhattan, Brooklyn, and Westchester which I liked. A representative from the company that afternoon to assess the carpet and gave me an estimate on the spot. I was assured the stain could be removed and they were right. I had a serious discussion with Muffles when the rug was returned, but I think I am going to have to be the responsible one. VoteforChicken.com is now live, so take a moment to learn more about this man's "Nuisance '07" campaign.
Who Is Chicken John?
Chicken John (John Rinaldi) is a Showman living in San Francisco. A contributor and instigator with a long history of arranging serendipity to accommodate Chaos when it comes to destiny’s place for dinner. He is a documented confusionist. He is a qualified insultant. He is also, most notably, a mechanic. He owns a gigantic bus and a small dog. In his spare time he enjoys long walks off a short pier, underwater basket weaving and writing dumb bio’s about himself.
So by now, we’ve all heard the stories from Golden Gate Park. Yes, we know that there was a bacterial virus unleashed by an animal rights group calling itself the Prion Liberation Front who had the audacity–I’m sorry, the chutzpah–to liberate mice from their cages at UCSF. Yes, we know that these mice found their way to Golden Gate Park and infected upwards of 3,000 native doves. Yes, we know that the virus has put some sort of. . .well, folks, let’s just call it a spell–where the doves are okay by themselves as individuals. but whenever two or more are gathered together, they start to conspire to act like bats and swoop down and suck the blood of dogs and poor kids on skateboards. The question is–what are we gonna do about it?
Well, the board of Supervisors doesn’t seem too interested in a green-friendly, yellow-neutral, orange-alert solution. How hard would it really be, folks, to come up with 6,000 ten inch barriers that we can place on each dove to prevent them from socializing with other doves? We have leash laws.
Part of the problem with being homeless is it ain’t any fun. Especially if you’re a kid from Ohio with a skateboard and a mangy dog. If you have to stay anywhere besides nowhere, it’s usually a homeless shelter. You get a cot and shower maybe. But you don’t get fun. And people need fun and homeless people, like it or not folks, are people. What could be more fun than one of those McDonald’s plastic ball pits. Now follow me here, people. 1) Take the cots and the showers out of the homeless shelter. 2) remove the roof from the homeless shelter. 3) Fill the homeless shelter with those plastic balls from McDonald’s. 4) Drop the homeless people into their new fun home. And the best part is, every two weeks one of the blue Angel Jets will do a flyby and drop fresh needles. Or we could just continue to accept a world without innovation.
Ed Jew. Look, folks. There’s been a lot of controversy. Is Jew good or is Jew bad? I like Jew. Jew’s good. If some people happen to think that Jew is illegally occupying Burlingame while making imperialist claims on the people of the Sunset, I invite them to read the history. Jew has been in the Sunset since 1948, like it or not. but you wouldn’t know that to hear the local media in headlines like: “Jew Doesn’t Where Money Came From!” or “Shame On Jew” or “Jew, Get Out!” I think we all can agree that headlines like this should convince you that Jew does not control the media. It’s time to end the relentless attack on Jew. And stop hiding behind the excuse, “It’s not that I don’t like Jew. It’s just legitimate criticism of Jew’s treatment of Palestinians.”
OK… enough comedy….
Chicken and Gavin debate video… and some other stuff…
photo by Jason
So here are some links for your Monday morning….
video of the “debate” with Gavin Newsom last Saturday. How Gavinwatch got it before I did is beyond me.
Josh Wilson write about journalistic integrity….
Here is some funny writing about Ethics and my timeline with them from the SF Weakly…
CHICKEN: Monday evening appeal at the Ethics Commission, precincts,ribbon cutting and Losers Ball
You have an opportunity to speak at an Ethics Commission meeting tomorrow evening at 5:30 (sharp!). There is another meeting (that we are not on the agenda for) that is allowing public comment. Do you have a comment on verbage being stricken from the minutes of a meeting that casts the fate of the Matching Funds for committee Vote for Chicken? Hmmmm…. then you might want to stop by….
Monday we have 18 more precincts to walk. Takes like 2 hours. Put doorhangers on doorknobs. Look harmless. Get excercize. Listen to Ipod. Get eternal gratitude. Bragging points.
Monday evening our friends Phobe and Leighton are opening a shop on Valencia and 16th called the 5 and Diamond. At 8:00, there is a ribbon cutting ceremony that I will preside over. You are welcome to wish them well. Buy a bracelet or some hippy beads or something.
Tuesday night is the LOSERS BALL. It’s shaping up to be a HUGE show. More soon… I just wanna make sure you’ll all be there. But where else would ya be?
Here are some alarming statistics:
“Since February, only 154 voters have been added to the city’s registration rolls. That’s far fewer than the 26,652 added during the same period in 2003 and the 75,339 in 1999, when the write-in campaign for Supervisor Tom Ammiano worked overtime to register voters for his run against then-Mayor Willie Brown, who was elected to a second term.”
Well one of the newly registered voters was me. And I registered a bunch of people when I was doing that awful petition thing. Probably at least 100 people. I guess Gavin didn’t really get the registration thing out. Probably wasn’t good odds, or he’d have done it. Kinda puts a chill in the air, don’t it? Maybe people are starting to see how bad things really are. I’ve always said that they are gonna have to get a lot worse before they get any better.
This evening I had the most pleasant interaction with a reporter that I have ever had. And that says a lot. A guy named Karl Vick, Washington Post. The difference between talking to this guy and the Chronicle people was like night and day. This guy was a journalist. Smart. Fun. Traveled. For all our wealth and ideas one of the biggest problems in SF I’m realizing is solid, world class journalists writing for our daily paper. But the cartoons this week in the SF Weakly hit a new low. Now I’m not gonna pretend that a part of this election wasn’t using Gavin as a punching bag… fair’s fair. You take your lumps. We all do. This was just lame. Bad Showmanship. Bad sport. Poorly drawn. With no punchline, it can’t be funny unless it’s ironic. Anyway, this is what politics in SF 2007 has come to. I’m debating a puppet and Matt Smith is a cartoonist: http://slideshow.sfweekly.com/index.php?gallery=22668&type=1&page=
Please come to the Ethics Meeting at 5:30 in City Hall. Call me, I’ll tell you what room it’s in…
San Francisco, California
Affordable artist housing… an art show Thursday night at the Chez Poulet
Chicken John: Project Artist Connect
Artist Reception Thursday November 1st 7pm-9pm
In accordance with Gavin Newsome’s programs Project Homeless Connect, Project Green Connect, Project perfect hair Connect, Chicken John has created Project Artist Connect, inviting 10 San Francisco artists to depict their city in a visual commentary addressing local issues and attributes. The exhibition features a range of work in subject and medium, including solemn pencil drawings, explosive statements in metal, and a real estate company selling modular housing solutions. Chicken John will be on hand to relate his platform to the San Francisco presented by the artists, and to discuss the dilemmas facing our city. An unnamed cast of characters will push political hot-buttons with impromptu performances and crooked fingers, truly exemplifying innovative art.
Benjamin Carpenter (Bender)
Muriel Buckner (Sunshine)
Lee Harvey Roswell
Dr. Hal Robins
Dystopic Horizons Realty
“unsanctioned gaiety “
Near the bottom of this article:
It’s not a direct quote, but it’s still damn funny:
“Buses could be disrupted later that night if unsanctioned gaiety breaks out despite the ban, Muni warned.”
This Halloween stuff is starting to get silly. Unsanctioned gaiety. In San Francisco!!!! Holy shit. We are in big trouble.
The man went by all the bars in the Castro and told ‘em all to shut down. Gavin lost a few votes there.
I’ll be at Lucky 13 @9:00. Then gonna go to some parties. Throw candy at cops. The biggest party on Halloween in SF is gonna be at 850 Bryant. SF jail….
Thursday morning I’ll be on Energy 92.7 @ 7:30 then on Alice morning show 97.3 @ 9:00 because I’m famous and I have a great speaking voice. Listen in…
An article in Tuesday’s Maariv, an Israeli daily newspaper, covers the indy candidates for Mayor of San Francisco, including Chicken John. Attached is a screenshot of the article from the e-version of the paper.
Report from the Camp Pain Trail…
photo by Deb Sherman
First of all, there is a really good pitch about the ‘debate’ last week on Fog City Journal. It’s an online mag that’s got squishy liberal all over it, but the Crackberry writer is a swell wordsmith and the photographer is second only to Lane. Even if he’s a Brit with no sense of humor. Great photos of the zombies and a chance to peek at Eric Jaye, Gavin’s Campaign Manager guy. Not that I’m implying that Eric Jaye is a zombie. You’re jumping to conclusions. Again.
Week 8 of the Public Financing Debacle. The last I heard from them today, a lease isn’t proof of address. Neither is a license that a donor got because he didn’t have proof of address. Because he got it AFTER the donation (like they asked him to), it’s not proof that he lived there WHEN HE MADE THE DONATION. I know that this stuff probably isn’t very interesting to you… but it’s really fascinating to me. It’s like being on another planet or in another culture. Right here in my own city. With baffled bewilderment I listen to the words slowly come out of the bureaucrats mouth, as they sentence me to another round of me driving around San Francisco knocking on donors doors asking them to sign another document or scan another piece of mail or a pay stub. All to prove that 250 who have $100 each support the City of Art and Innovation. So that a box can be checked on a form in a file in a drawer in a basement that no one will ever look at again. The process of qualifying for the program has been nothing short of Olympian. The simple fact is that the election is upon us, and they will not part with the money. We defiantly qualified. If there is comedy here, it is hiding behind a huge block of wasted time… but I continue to hunt… there has never been a candidate who has gotten to know his donors better than me. I’ve been to most of your houses. I know how much your electric bill is. I know where the last 3 places you lived. I’ve seen some of you in bathrobes, towels, evening gowns and I’ve met your husbands, your girlfriends and your kids. Although nothing like I thought it would be, the life lessons that I’m being afforded are unparalleled. The talent surrounding this is hysterical. The sheer lost opportunity of it all makes you wanna cackle like a hyena. In the end, it’s the possibility that “anything can happen”. That’s what theatre is all about. That’s why you go to a live show. You wanna be there for the magic of possibility graduating into a confluence of now. And that’s why improv is even better. Because without a script, the “anything can happen” part becomes a bonus multiplier.
Things are about to get interesting…
Thanks for watching…
Donor dinner, dangerous thoughts, Epiphany & going through the competitions garbage…
photo by Lane Hartwell www.fetching.net
First thank you dinner was a smashing sucess. Except I had 3 sips of wine too many and talked for a teeny, tiny bit too long. But it was interesting. The donors came. They had critiques. They had compliments. Complaints. They were interested, inspired and hungry. They ate everything and went through my underwear drawer.
The next thank you dinner will be probably after the election. I have now like 430 people to thank and feed.
This blog is me stalling because I can’t write about all the other stuff because it’s just too many words right now and I have a feeling that the world doesn’t need more words tonight… it needs something else. But it’s definatly something that I don’t have.
I’ve learned more in the last week than I have in the last year of my life.
I’m about to explode.